Lord of the Twilight Zone
by GrimsClockwork
Summary: While Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are tracking the Uruk-Hai that kidnapped Merry and Pippin, they pass through a small town. A very strange town indeed.
1. Chapter 1: You are about to enter…

Title: Lord of the Twilight Zone

Author: GrimsClockwork

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story; they either belong to Tolkien or I don't even know who. I referenced so much stuff it was hard to keep track.

Rating: T and/or K+ (for language)

Summary: While Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli are tracking the Uruk-Hai that kidnapped Merry and Pippin, they pass through a small town. A very strange town indeed.

Authors Note: This idea came to me when I was watching a Twilight Zone marathon. I made 9 old movie references in this story; I challenge you to name them all  and please R&R

**Chapter 1: You are about to enter…**

Legolas stood alone in a very dark room, or was it a room? It was pitch black except for pin-prick holes of light that where spread all around him like stars. There didn't seem to be any walls, or even a floor. Then in front of him an odd stationary white shape appeared. As he looked closely at it the thing first rotated slowly clockwise, then began to twist and spin on the spot. At this point Legolas realized that the shape was a door. As the door came to rest infront of him a loud clear male voice rang out.

"_You unlock this door with the key of imagination." _

Legolas looked frantically around and saw no one. He felt a strange force pulling him through the now open door.

"_Beyond it is another dimension."_

He was pulled through the door and was suddenly face to face with a rectangular window.

"_A dimension of sound"_

The window shattered as though hit with a sledge hammer and then vanished.

"_A Dimension of sight" _

A round white eye with blue irises and long eyelashes opened out of the darkness staring at him.

"_A Demension of mind"_

The eye vanished and the equation "E=MC² appeared in front of him, as well as a strange doll and a ticking clock.

"_A land of shadow and substance, of things and ideas, you have just entered…"_

"Legolas…Legolas…LEGOLAS!!" Aragorn's voice rang from far away. Legolas snapped awake as suddenly as if Aragorn a slapped him. He sat bolt upright and looked around.

"Are you ok dude?" Aragorn said looking at Legolas.

"Man I just had the weirdest dream. Something about a door and an eye and mind and…" he trailed off.

After staring at his friend for a moment Aragorn said, "Yeah, I think you were eating the wrong kind of mushrooms last night."

"Shut up!" Legolas said laughing, the distress and feeling of unease that the dream had caused him where quickly fading. "Where's Gimli?"

"He went to get some water, but that was like an hour ago," Aragorn said airily. "We should probably go and see what happened to him."

Aragorn and Legolas made their way to the small river they had slept by the previous night. While they were all very tired from chasing the damn Uruk-Hai, Gimli was the only one bitching about it. He had spent the last few days just whining non stop about how dwarves were natural sprinters and not made for distance running. Legolas had quickly discovered that making Gimli angry seemed to speed him up. So he kept making gay jokes that always seemed to involve Gimli intentionally going slow so he could stare at Legolas's ass. The pair arrived at the edge of a very small shallow river; the river was located in a small trench that was about 3 feet deep. It was here that they found Gimli frantically struggling to get back on the bank.

"Need some help," Aragorn called as they approached.

"NO!" Gimli barked as he jumped up to the bank, came up short, and fell backward. Legolas laughed openly and went down to the edge. What made this situation even funnier was the fact that the river was only about 2 feet from bank to the other.

"Come on now," Legolas said laughing. "You can get out; I mean this ain't exactly the Mississippi. Check it out, I'm on one side…" he jumped across to the other bank. "I'm on the other side." He jumped back over, "I'm on the east bank," He jumped again, "I'm on the west bank." He then proceeded to straddle the river, with one foot on either side. "It shouldn't be this hard."

Gimli roared and lunged at Legolas, who jumped out of the way. In his rage Gimli finally succeeded in getting out, and he chassed after Legolas yelling "When I get my hands on you I'm going to stick a sausage down you throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!"

"Stop Gimli, save your energy, you're going to need it." Aragorn said catching hold of Gimli.

"Arg you're right," Gimli said, and the three of them set off into the woods that lay before them. It was well into the afternoon before any of them spoke, they couldn't help but be distracted. Something seemed off, but none of them could quite put their fingers on just what it was. The just seemed to be going in circles, they all felt dizzy, disoriented, and the sun that shown through the trees seemed brighter than usual. They finally stopped in a small clearing and Aragorn tried to get his bearings. But try as he might he just couldn't.

"Well Tonto," Gimli said irritably. "Where are we?"

"Shut up would you," Aragorn snapped back. "I'm trying to think"

That's when Legolas heard a very strange sound. It sounded like a bird, but unlike any bird Legolas had ever heard. It made a sound that was like a cross between a caw of a crow and the honking of a goose. As it got closer he realized that the bird sounded almost human. Legolas stood transfixed listening closely. The bird suddenly came out of the woods, rounded a tree, walked over to a fallen tree, climbed on top of it and stared at Legolas. The bird had a feathery ostrich shaped head, and a body and legs that looked like the shoulders, chest, and arms of a person.

"Ground control to Major Tom!" Aragorn yelled.

"Huh," Legolas whipping around to look at him. "Look at that weird bird."

"What bird?" Aragorn asked curiously.

Legolas turned back around and the bird was gone. "Umm never mind."

"Come-on lets keep going," Aragorn said. As they walked on he became aware of the sounds of voices. He motioned to the others to follow, for some reason they were acting like they couldn't hear the voices. Aragorn got about 500 feet in front of the others, he rounded some trees and stepped into a clearing. There he saw a very pretty brunette woman in a big white dress sitting on a swing, being pushed by a well dressed man who had black slicked back hair and a thin mustache.

"Push me Rhett! Push me!" she said with a southern accent.

"Um excuse me," Aragon called hesitantly to them.

"Dude who are you talking to?" Legolas said as he and Gimli came up behind him.

Aragon pointed into the empty clearing; he lowered his arm and stared. "I thought I just saw…" Aragorn shook his head a few times and they continued on through the clearing and to the top of a large grassy hill. When they reached the top they looked down and they saw what appeared to be a town. It was a small place located in a clearing surrounded by trees. There was one large main street with 4 or 5 side streets that branched off into the woods. They could see what appeared to be a church at one end and a town hall on the other. There were a few shops and about a few dozen houses scattered about the streets.

"What is that place?" Gimli asked turning to Aragorn.

"I don't know." Aragorn said.

Before they could say anymore a small black terrier came running out of the woods behind them, followed by a little girl in a blue checkered dress and pig-tales.

"Toto come back!" she called as she chased after the dog down the hill.

They stared after her, and after a few moments of silence Legolas followed her down the hill. The other two followed in suite. As they approached the odd little place they couldn't ignore the feeling of foreboding that was creeping up inside of them.


	2. Chapter 2: A nice place to live

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING

Authors note: Bet you cant name/spot all the old movie references haha remember there are 9 total, and please R&R

**Chapter 2: A nice place to live**

Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas approached the town cautiously as the sun set behind them. There was nothing particularly threatening about the place, in fact if the roof tops of the buildings had been covered in snow the place would have looked like a Christmas card. Even still the fellowship couldn't shake off the looming sense of dread that they all felt. At long last they reached the main dirt road and started walking into the main part of town. Located at the start of the dirt road was a sign that read, "Classicalreels: A nice place to live." They soon neared a small house. There were hicks scattered in and around the battered and rundown house. One in the front had a guitar and was absent mindedly strumming notes. As they walked closer the guitar man gave them a small nod and played a chord. The chord was echoed by what sounded like a banjo. The source of the echo was from a young boy standing on the houses porch. The boy was wearing tattered clothes and had extremely small eyes. He echoed the next chord the guitar man played as he sat down on the porch swing. The guitar and banjo continued to play and echo until their music turned into what can only be described as a duel. Legolas watched these events and seemed to be extremely entertained. Gimli and Aragorn however where looking around at the other people present at the house.

"Ok is it me," Gimli said to Aragorn. "Or are these people the scariest looking hillbillies ever?"

"Yeah talk about genetic deficiencies," Aragorn said. "Let's get out of here." With that he grabbed Legolas's arm and they walked off.

As they went further down the street into the main part of the town they passed by what appeared to be a tavern. They stopped and looked in the window in front of the tavern and saw something very odd.

"What the hell...?" Gimli said. This pretty much summed up the sight that met their eyes. The interior of the tavern could only be described as trippy. It was oddly designed, everything in it appeared to be rounded, and it was decorated with bright colors and oddly posed naked women mannequins. Directly in front of them sitting on a couch were 4 young men all dressed in white. One of them was looking directly back at them; he had a piercing steely blue stare. The lashes on his right eye seemed longer then on the other. He continued to stair unblinkingly at them.

"OK," Aragorn said. "I'm ready to get out of here." The other 2 agreed, and they left the tavern quickly.

The sun was almost completely gone now, and they quickened their pace. They had barley gone a few feet when Legolas walked head long into a man. The man was very thin, had dark hair and looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Oh excuse me," Legolas said.

The man lifted his crazy eyes level with Legolas's and said, "You talkin' to me?"

"Ummm yeah," Legolas said confused. "Sorry I ran into you."

The man didn't seem to hear him and continued as if Legolas hadn't spoken "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK."

Aragorn reached for his sword; clearly this weirdo was going to be trouble. But before anything else could be said or done the man slouched off, and as he walked away they could hear him mutter, "I got some bad ideas in my head."

"Ok that guy was nuts, and I think we should just get out of here before something bad happens." Legolas said to Aragorn and Gimli, both of whom nodded vigorously, and they continued to make their way out of this place. There was only a sliver of light left in the now deep purple sky. The fellowship walked past a sig street and became aware of some commotion. There was a small crowd on onlookers surrounding 2 figures. One was a man in a suit standing over another man who was standing over another. The man in the suit had his back to them, but they could still hear what he was saying.

"I know what you're thinking, 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

As one Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli quickened their pace. They had to get out of this oddball place now. They where several yards away from the end of the street and back into the woods when they passed the last side street. Aragorn glanced sideways down it and what he saw made him stop dead in his tracks. He could see a flower shop at the end of the short street. Through the front window he could see a small nerdy looking man pressed against the wall looking terrified. Opposite him, staring him down was a plant; but, it was no ordinary plant. It was as large as several men, it had on giant pod at the end of its vine covered stem. And it just happened to be talking. Its frantic sounding voice rang out through an open door.

"Feed me Seymour!" the plant yelled.

This was the final straw, Legolas Aragorn and Gimli took off running into the woods that lay before them. As they ran they passed a large wooden sign that read, "Thank you for visiting Classicalreels" They ran several yards into the woods before stopping. It was pitch black and an eerie quite had filled the air. They all felt as though they had just awoken from a deep sleep. It was all just too weird; they had to go back for another look. But when they got to the place where the town had stood they found nothing but a clearing. they walked into the center of the clearing and looked around, the land was completely untouched. They looked at each other, shook their heads, and took off in the opposite direction. They didn't know what had happened. All any of them knew was that they wanted to get as far away from this place as possible. As they ran back towards the woods Legolas tripped over something that was sticking out of the ground. Legolas jumped back to his feet and looked down at that he had tripped over. It was a chunk of wood. Legolas pulled it out of the ground and examined it. The edges where sharp and there where faded letters on it. He couldn't make out all of the letters, but the ones he could read formed the words "Classic reels."

"What is it Legolas," Gimli asked.

"It's nothing," Legolas said, "just a piece of wood." He tossed it aside and followed the other 2 back into the woods. He decided not to tell them it was a piece of the sign they had passed.


End file.
